Tag Archives: Networking

A super, super-low budget gem, and Tiger goes to Cannes…

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I thought I’d do an update on where we are with Tiger, the short film I wrote and produced last year. This film was made during February 2012 and had its first screening (albeit for family and friends) last summer at the Lighthouse cinema in Dublin. Since then it’s been screened in London, at the Underground Film Festival in Dun Laoghaire, at the Waterford Film Festival, and more recently as part of a shorts double bill in a cinema in Navan.

The costs for the film to date are nudging €3.5k, but that isn’t bad for a short (except in comparison to the movie below), and we still have some money left over to get it out to more festivals. It’s a little movie that was relatively non-stressful to make (the fundraising was the most onerous part tbh) and one that audiences really seem to respond to. Or at least, that’s what they tell me!

And there’s some really good news recently – Tiger’s been accepted into the Short Film Corner at Cannes, and as its co-producer, that gives me Cannes festival accreditation! So I’ll be going over next month for four days to take full advantage of the free pass and meet as many industry types as possible. Bring on the free stuff and the lovely people!

I submitted Tiger to a bunch of distributors and I’m also happy to say that one of the biggest distribution/licencing companies is interested. It’s early days, but things are looking promising! So if that works, out, Tiger will be seen by an even bigger audience, and me and the director/co-producer might even make our costs back some day. You never know.

Talking of super-low budget films, I found myself at an IFTA screening last week for Gerard Barrett’s Pilgrim Hill. Barrett is a young Kerry guy who wrote, directed and produced this feature film for less than €6k. You read that right. Actually, it might even be much less than that – he borrowed €4.5k from his local credit union and added “ a bit extra” to make it. If that wasn’t astonishing enough, the film was shot in seven days, with just three members of crew (Barrett, a cinematographer and a focus puller).

So the question you’re probably wondering is, is this frugal epic any good? And the answer would be, yes it is. Barrett’s clearly dealing with a subject close to his heart – the film’s hero, a lonely bachelor farmer in his forties, is based on the director’s own uncle. The performance he gets out of real-life farmer and sometime actor Joe Mullins is incredible – to the point where you feel uncomfortable watching it at times because it doesn’t feel like a performance at all.

Mullins’ character is a slave to the family farm and to his own demanding, disabled father. He’s long given up on escaping the isolated life he seems doomed to follow, but the events of the film force him to confront his past, his present and most definitely his future. There isn’t a huge cast – there’s probably only four main characters, but the quality of the script and the acting means that you barely notice this. The film looks amazing too, beautiful photography by Ian D. Murphy and a final scene that will wrench your heart out.

My only complaint – even bearing in mind the budget constraints – is that I would have liked a little more story. But this is a small problem with a film that’s already put Gerard Barrett on the map. He was there in person for an entertaining interview with Arena presenter Sean Rocks and talked about his next project – a family drama set in Dublin called Glassland. After seeing Pilgrim Hill, I’m really looking forward to it.

Seeing a film made for a budget as tiny as this can’t help but make you think of what can be done – even of what you could do yourself for a similar amount. I have a friend whose script was made last year for €18k, which seemed (and indeed, is) an incredibly small amount to make a feature. That being said, Pilgrim Hill has a lot going for it – the writer’s intense knowledge of the subject matter, a decent script, an excellent DoP and a real find in its lead actor. There are no stunts, no car chases and no explosions. Only a bare-bones cast and crew. This is DIY film-making at its best.

Still, if you have a great idea and don’t need a huge crew involved, maybe you don’t need to approach the Film Board or track down a producer. You could skip the usual fundraising route, raid the piggy bank and make the low-budget feature of your dreams…

Back in lovely old Dublin…

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First of all, I got interviewed by fellow screenwriter Chris Jalufka for his (amazing) blog, and he made me sound so good I’m embarrassed… you can check it out here.

Meanwhile, I’m back in Ireland, back at work and back in one of the world’s maddest climates. It’s been really strange to go from a place where every day is the same (hot and sunny) to Dublin, where no day is the same. And where instead of writing every day and schmoozing, I’m going out to work (:().

BUT – I’m working to raise money for a good cause, to fund my next visit to L.A. Some men spent most of World War Two trying to escape from Colditz. I just need to save a load of money and get a spanking new visa that will defeat the suspicions of Homeland Security. How hard can it be?

Well, it’s not THAT hard. But it’s not a piece of cake, either. Basically, as a writer I can apply for an O1 visa, which will give me at least a year in the States (and can be renewed thereafter). With this visa, I can work as a writer (and that includes web writing, journalism etc. as well as screenwriting). Two visa lawyers have looked at my list of credits and reckon I have enough to apply for an O1. But to apply, I must have a sponsor, and that means securing a manager/agent.

I did PRETTY well with getting reps to read my scripts while I was in the States. One agent and four management companies, to be exact. In a situation so typical it might have been an episode of Entourage, the agent said he liked my script, but had no buyer in mind for it. However, if I found a buyer, he’d be happy to represent me! (And take his 10%). I’m still waiting to hear back from some of the managers. But I have to believe that it’s going to work out. That someone’s going to take a chance on me, a chance that will pay off some day very soon.

On a good note – and there are many good notes, three professional screenwriters helped me out big-time before I left Cali. One got a reader from a top production company to read my script, another gave me some gold-standard advice on writing TV specs, and the third chap – a studio reader himself – spent 45 mins going over my script on Skype. Bear in mind, they got nothing in return apart from a lot of good karma. I made a promise before I left that I, too, would try my best to pay it forward, in whatever way I can.

For now, it’s back to writing, rewriting, and outlining. And schmoozing and networking, even it’s not on the same scale as it was in L.A. Wherever I’m living, whatever the weather’s like, 2013 is going to be the year all my biggest movie dreams come true…

A Hollywood Halloween, a famous Hollywood house, and a Hollywood classic…

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So the first thing that happened after the Austin trip was the (major event) that is Halloween.

The Saturday before, I went to a vintage store to buy my costume, which was for a character I made up called The Killer Bride. Basically, an effed-up white dress and veil, plus an axe. You can see the results – and a lot of other, much more amazing costumes here.

The dress was easy, then I had to get some fake blood, a fake axe and a veil. There was only one thing for it, to go to the Hollywood Toys and Costume Store on Hollywood Boulevard.

My flatmate used to work for a famous hip-hop label owner whose brother was in a seminal Eighties rap band (that’s all I’m allowed to say!). And said Label Owner was in town from New York, without a costume. So she was tasked with getting him sorted. He was going AS his brother, which seemed very meta to me….

She drove us up to the Toys and Costume Store, which was MENTAL. There was a huge line of people out the door, and inside, it was the biggest costume emporium I’ve ever seen. Wigs, fake chains, knives, makeup, latex masks, you name it.

So we got my items in no time, bought some fake gold chains for Mr Label Owner and then it was down to the Adidas store on Melrose for the rest of his costume (yes, that was a clue).

But it turned out that he was staying with a big Hollywood director, which meant a drive into the heart of Beverly Hills to deliver the stuff. This director’s pool featured in an episode of Entourage a few years ago, and it was every bit as cool in real life. Amazing paintings, photos taken by the director himself featuring all sorts of famous types, cool furniture and objets d’art everywhere, and of course, the pool where Johnny Drama once begged him for a role.

I’m sorry to say that there was no sign of either the Label Owner or the Director, but we did get to meet the Director’s two charming Filipino maids. Next time, I’ll be taking a swim in the pool… I wish!

That night, it was off to a Green Card party (two British ladies had just become citizens), where the good news was celebrated with champagne (fair enough) and in true L.A.-style, karaoke. I hope their walls were soundproofed!

Halloween night itself was just as crazy as I’d hoped. Everyone gets dressed up and started promenading around in their costumes from about 6pm, while the streets are lined with a lot of very camp performers on stages singing endless versions of Thriller. At one point, the mayor of West Hollywood tried to make a speech flanked by drag queens, but everyone was too busy oohing and ahing at the mad costumes to listen.

I can’t do justice to how incredible some of them were – people really went all out. My favourites were the guy with the TV on his head (complete with lampshade), the guy dressed as The Queen, and the dragon.

It was a great night – and the Killer Bride went down well. I must have had my picture taken with 20-30 people. Kind of felt like being one of those guys dressed as Spiderman on Hollywood Boulevard….

On Friday, I went to a screenwriters mixer organised by the ISA, which unfortunately took place in a cocktail bar called Mixology 101, with a DJ spinning (noisy and bad) discs. Hardly a good venue for a load of nerdy people to make conversation and contacts. Having said that, I did meet a lot of people and  exchanged some cards. I just had no voice the next day…

Thankfully, Saturday was a quiet-ish day, sketch class aside. I went to an AFI screening of a digitally-remastered Sunset Boulevard at Graumans Chinese.

Now, a few things about this. AFI Fest tickets are FREE, and all you have to do to get them is book them online, and pick them up at the box office. And we all got a goodie bag afterwards, with a copy of the film on DVD and a specially-produced poster. I don’t know how AFI manages financially, but I’m glad it does!

Billy Wilder’s Sunset Boulevard is the ideal film to watch in Hollywood, particularly at the Chinese Theater. And seeing it there with a big crowd was something special. Gloria Swanson’s terrifying Norma Desmond gets the most laughs, with the biggest ones coming after William Holden’s down-at-heel screenwriter tells her she “used to be big”. “I AM big!”, she snaps back. “It’s the pictures that got small!”.

But killer lines aside – and this movie is brimming with them – this is a tragic story at heart, about people who can’t give up on their dream and head back to Ohio, or in the case of Norma, accept that they’re no longer a star. I’d seen the film before, but had forgotten the creepiness of Norma’s morbid, crumbling mansion, and the unnerving butler Max. An early scene featuring a midnight burial for a scary-looking pet chimp is straight out of a Hammer Horror.

This is a very dark film masquerading as a comedy, directed by someone who knew just what a high price people are prepared to pay for fame. I loved seeing it on the big screen where it belongs – and if this version gets a wide release, you should check it out.

I’ll update again later in the week on the rest of AFI, election night in Hollywood, and a run-down of the (tiny amount) I’ve learned about comedy sketch writing so far…

Day 3 of Austin 2012 – Breaking In from Way Outside and Pixar’s Story Rules…

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There’s always at least one panel in Austin on the thorny issue of Breaking Into Hollywood when you live in Boise, Idaho. Or Dublin, Ireland. Or Canada. And if it’s not that, it’s a panel on How to Get an Agent.

And I always wonder whether to go to these panels, because more often than not the subtext running through them is: Folks, you’re screwed. They can be depressing. And as a writer, I don’t need another depressing fact, I need hope, damn it!

But nevertheless, I figured I should drink the medicine at least once this year, so I went to the Breaking Into Hollywood from Outside one.

The panellists were TV (including Bones) and film writer/novelist Noah Hawley and TV writer Kell Cahoon, who lives in Austin. Here were their nuggets of wisdom on how to succeed in Hollywood from very far away:

  • When you get a chance to submit something to someone in Hollywood, make sure to bring your A-game. You might only get one chance to get it right. So prepare by getting good at pitching, honing your craft and managing your industry relationships.
  • Bu nice to assistants! Right now, they’re powerful gatekeepers. Next year, they could be an producer, agent or executive in their own right. (I would add to this: be nice to people in general. Seriously. Imagine if everyone just stopped behaving like dicks? It would be a wonderful world and there would be no more road rage or reality TV…. ).
  • Remember, you’re looking for open assignments too. So even if they don’t like your script enough to buy it, they might like your writing style. And you. So be charming and polite.
  • A fact I did not know – apparently the WGA assign experienced writers to guide newbie writers when they join. It’s a sort of mentoring scheme. I hope to have one of these mentors v. soon!
  • Catch 22 – writers often find it hard to access work as assistants, but staffed writers find it hard to find good assistants, especially at short notice. It’s all about who you know, so use your social network! Exploit every contact you have, no matter how remote a chance it may seem. And check out this site – the Anonymous Production Assistant blog. Lots of job listings on there. Although if you’re me, or Canadian, you may be fresh out of luck. Keep reading!
  • Older writers – your good script sample is your best weapon. Plus, life experience does count for a lot. If you have a writers room staffed with only twentysomething writers, you’re going to have a very narrow viewpoint.
  • Indie films provide a route in that studio films and TV do not. Shoot your own movies. Make your own short films. You can do this from anywhere.
  • An important point – once you have your foot through the door, you have to follow through. So if your agent gets you a meeting in L.A., no matter where you live, you have to go there and attend the meeting! Hollywood types don’t want to hear about “problems” with travel/kids/elderly parents/bosses. They have to contend with smog, traffic, angry people, the imminent prospect of being fired and the San Andreas fault.
  • This was a big one – don’t take anything personally. This includes someone saying no to your script, your show getting cancelled, your movie going into turnaround, all of it. It’s a business, so take the pitfalls in your stride and move on. Be tenacious. Just keep going.

I quite liked this panel. Unlike most of its kind, it did not make me want to commit hari-kiri with my Final Draft disk.

And last, but not least, there was a panel led by former Pixar story artist Emma Coats on her internet-famous Story Rules. These are basically 22 “rules” or pieces of advice based on working at Pixar, most recently on the film Brave. Emma’s now shooting her own live-action shorts, including the outlaw story Sweetpea (which sounds amazing!).

The 22 rules are listed in this rather excellent Huffington Post interview with Emma, so I won’t list them again here.

However, here was what emerged as Emma and her writing partner Shion Takeuchi went through the list:

  • These are not “rules” as such, but a distillation of what they have found to be true so far.
  • Know your ending (this relates to rule 7) because otherwise things will need to be retro-fitted to suit it. If you have a scene in the second act that you really love but doesn’t suit your ending, it’s going to be hard to get rid of it.
  • Even if you feel a scene is working great, ask yourself if an audience would want to watch it? It needs to be something that a LOT of people are going to be entertained by.
  • Writing “from you” – with Brave, the challenge was that no one can relate to being a princess. But people CAN relate to the idea of having to live an over-structured life with too many restrictions. Find what’s relatable in your character.
  • The first set of sequences in your script will be the most rewritten. You should use this section to set up anticipation in the audience for what’s going to happen later.
  • Act 2 problems (and is there anyone who doesn’t have these?) usually happen because there is no clear midpoint. You have to use trial and error to find your “turn”. Where does the story peak? Emma used a good analogy, which is poker. With the inciting incident in your script, you’re “in” for a small amount, say 2 dollars. By the first half of Act 1, you get further and further in, throwing in dollar after dollar. By the midpoint, you’re “all in” and there’s no going back. So when in your story does your hero reach the point of no return? That’s your midpoint.
  • When rewriting, be careful of remnants left over from old drafts, stuff that’s no longer relevant. Ask yourself when faced with older material if it should still be there or if it should be cut altogether.
  • When writing a script about a fantastical world, the hero is usually the person who is the most naive, has the most to lose in the context of the theme, or who has the most to learn. They are the eyes of the audience.
  • Pixar storyboarding for characters – a lot of it does not get used, but it helps to form the story and makes the characters come to life (this is similar to writing bios for your characters, which I highly recommend). Ask yourself how your character deals with conflict? How do they get out of doing stuff they don’t want to do?
  • The “honeymoon phase” when you’ve just finished a script isn’t real. Just like with relationships. You have to get past it! Push past it if necessary.
  • One of Emma’s rules deals with “getting the obvious out of the way”. Look past the first, second and third things that come to mind and see if you can come up with something more “out there”. Something you haven’t seen before. This is similar to writing sketches, where you’re asked to come up with 25 things that could happen in your scene. This will range from the mundane to the absurd. (Go with the absurd, at least for sketch writing!)
  • With script ideas, get someone who is not attached to your idea and run it past them. Run it past plenty of people and see how enthusiastic they are – this will give you a hint of whether it’s a good concept or not.
  • If a bunch of people are saying the same thing about your script and something that needs to be changed, maybe it needs to be changed. Look at deleted scenes on DVDs – in some cases they may be good scenes, but you probably didn’t miss them in the movie.
  • Test new ideas out – you owe it to your story to try things. Usually, the changes will be better.

I found this session really helpful, especially avoiding the obvious and the idea of finding your midpoint by looking for the point of no return. Thanks to Emma and Shion, and looking forward to seeing Sweetpea!

And then it was done. Except it wasn’t, because I didn’t go home until Wednesday 24th. So there was another two days of talking and partying and meeting up with people. There was an excellent martini lunch (thank Yolanda!) and a visit to the majestic Alamo Ritz movie theatre, where you can order food and beer at your seat and NO ONE TALKS. You get shot if you talk, it’s Texas.

There was a last party on Tuesday before I went home and unusually, there was still an impressive number of conference attendees still around. I’m ashamed to say that I only got to catch one bunch of short films (all amazing). I did not manage to see one feature at AFF this year, and there were some good ones. Oh well, next time!

My plane was delayed coming back because some guy called Barack Obama was landing his little plane at LAX so he could go on some talk show. Tsk.

I’ll update over the next few days on what’s been happening since I got back to L.A., but in the meantime, a big, concerned hallo to everyone I know on the East Coast. Stay safe, people!

 

Austin 2 – The Return (to the Panels)

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Saturday at this year’s AFF kicked off with the hangover from hell for pretty much everyone and – thankfully – a panel on improv comedy. I’ve been doing courses in L.A. on both improv and comedy sketch writing, so this session was right up my street.

The panel members were (Paul Feig, director of Bridesmaids and creator of Freaks and Geeks), TV and film comedy writer Jeff Lowell, writer/comedian Dan French and producer Kent Alterman.

Paul Feig admitted that he likes to cast actors from an improv background, maintaining that the difference between those who can improvise and those who can’t can be like night and day. Most of the cast in Bridesmaids were improv vets, leading to a lot of cross-shooting so that all the off-the-cuff stuff could be captured. You have to have the confidence (as director) to roll with the material that comes up in the rehearsal room.

However – the panel agreed that the movie has to work even if none of the cast are comfortable improvising. It’s just the icing on the cake.

As to “what is improv really about?”, they agreed that it was not about being the funniest person in the room, but about finding the truth in the comedy. And this means trusting your fellow improvisers.

Jeff Powell made an important point, which is that there must be some structure. You can’t just arrive on a set and plan to improvise something in a vague way. For example, there’s no script on Curb Your Enthusiasm. But they have a detailed outline to base the comedy on. Without a plan, your cast and your story will descend into chaos.

If you’re writing for people who are not actors (or who aren’t GOOD actors), find out where their natural strengths are and concentrate on those. Temper the script to them.

In terms of improv techniques for writers, ask yourself, “If this is true for my character, what else is true?”. Heighten their situation as much as you can. See if you can find what the most insane thing is that could happen next.

Another tip – and I’ve already found this to be true in sketch writing – is be specific in improv. Don’t say hot sauce, make it Chipotle hot sauce (or some other particular brand). And don’t be afraid of using words that “sound” funny to enhance your comedy. People really react to these.

Paul Feig admitted that using improv had really freed him up. He said he used to be a writer who went crazy when someone wanted to change his scripts, but now he was much more relaxed about it. Also a piece of gossip – he’s cast internet star Spoken Reasons in his new movie The Heat (which looks BRILLIANT btw)…

The other panel I found really useful on Saturday was “Heroes and Villains”, with Aline Brosh McKenna (The Devil Wears Prada, 27 Dresses), Jenny Lumet (Rachel Getting Married) and Paul Feig again. That guy got around!

Here was some of their chat on what makes good heroes and villains. I should say that this was a really great session, partly because Jenny Lumet in particular is whip-smart and super well-informed. She knows her Shakespeare, Milton etc. so she was able to talk about even unlikely characters like Tony Montana in relation to them!

Heroes:

Underdogs are great. Paul Feig said he loved The Avengers but couldn’t relate to the characters because they’re all uber-heroes. Jenny Lumet said she likes people who have convinced themselves that they are telling the truth, who may be at their least heroic. Aline McKenna’s opinion was that Bridesmaids made it okay for female characters to be flawed. Kristen Wiig’s character is a loser who continues to make bad choices throughout the story, yet she’s the heroine!

On the other hand, what if the story had been told from Melissa McCarthy’s point of view? It’s often worth taking your secondary characters and trying to imagine how they would see the story.

Anti-Heroes

Lumet – The Godfather is full of anti-heroes. And Hercules – the original Greek myth is much better, because he’s doing all his trials to atone for horrible crimes he’s committed.

Feig – As George Bernard Shaw said, “All men mean well”. Even someone like Tony Montana in Scarface has an initially laudable goal, to live the American dream.

Lumet – What if Juliet did not kill herself after she finds Romeo dead? Would this change how we view her? And are we closer to Iago than Othello, because we understand his impulses, what drives him? Tony Montana wants what he sees on TV. And so do we, so we know why he makes the choices he does. It’s great to watch this character grow from a small boy and embark on this journey that’s ultimately going to lead to his downfall.

McKenna – In the Seventies, it was de-rigeur to have an anti-hero main character, even in pretty pedestrian movies. Whereas in later movies like Pretty Woman, they try to sugarcoat as much as possible that she’s a hooker! Now, it’s starting to come back around, especially on TV where you have great anti-hero leads on shows like Breaking Bad and Mad Men.

Villains

McKenna – Miranda Priestly (Streep’s character in Devil Wears Prada) is genuinely perplexed about why other people are “so incompetent”. She feels besieged. Like, she’s excellent at what she does, so why can’t everyone else be, too? The fact that she doesn’t see herself as a bad guy means that she never becomes a cartoony villain.

Feig – Similarly, in Bridesmaids Rose Byrne’s character is operating from the best place. She’s trying to save her friend’s wedding from this crazy head bridesmaid!

Lumet – Your bad guy should see himself as a hero. That’s what makes a great villain. With a movie like Scarface, Tony Montana IS his own antagonist. Sure, he has outside forces attacking him, but it’s mainly him. By the end of the movie, he’s achieved what he wanted, but at what cost?

So basically – have a flawed hero and make sure your villain sees themselves as the one in the right! (The latter point in particular makes huge sense to me, and I’ll be using it in each and every script from now on…)

That was Saturday in terms of panels. There were more parties to go to, more people to talk to and more beer with my name on it.

Every time I go to AFF, I’m struck by how many clever, witty and creative people are beavering away all over the world, all the time, working on scripts that may never get made, specs that might never get sold. As someone said, it’s like training to be a doctor, with no expectation that you’ll ever be able to practice.

But once a year, the writer is king – and that’s what makes Austin THE go-to festival. I was talking to another writer at one point and asked him what sort of stuff he writes. He listed off a bunch of movies – at which stage I realised that I was talking not to another rookie writer, but to the guy behind Red, Battleship and Whiteout. You have to be careful at this festival!

Back tomorrow with a round-up of Sunday….

Film Festivals, reps and Texas barbecue…

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So since I last updated, I’ve been to two more movie festivals (which I think makes 7 or 8 since I got to L.A.) – namely the LA Femme Film Festival, which concentrates on films made by or focussing on women, and the Bel Air Film Festival.

In both cases, I saw some really good packages of short films. But I’m gonna single out Bel Air because a. the screenings took place on the gorgeous UCLA campus and b. my friend’s friend’s short movie Atonal is brilliant. If it’s showing at a festival near you, go see it. The performances in it are just outstanding and it looks amazing.

Apart from that, there’s been a fair amount of going out on the razz and not a lot of networking. But all that’s gonna change over the next 3 days cos I’m in Austin, Texas for this year’s AFF. Bring on the talking, the parties, the panels and the people.

What makes this year even sweeter is that my script Last Girl Standing got to the Second Round of the festival’s screenwriting competition, so I’m able to go to more events, got a discount off my ticket etc.

I’ve had some luck recently with representation – currently three management companies and one agent in L.A. are reading my work. But I’d like to meet more agents and managers face to face, and this festival – informal, access all areas – is perfect for that.

I’ll update next week, by which time I’ll have no voice left and will be so fat from eating barbecue (I’m even going to the notorious Salt Lick tomorrow) that they’ll have to roll me onto the plane…

A movie that could have been great. The best coffee in L.A. And a bar that serves cake…

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It’s been a weird but in general cool few days. There’s been a slightly weird meeting, of which more later. I’ve been to one of West Hollywood’s gayest club, which is saying something, and to Bar Marmont, which is something else.

But first, I saw Lawless, a movie about Prohibition-era moonshiners that should have been so much better than it was. It has a great cast – Tom Hardy, Gary Oldman, Jessica Chastain, Jason Clarke, Shia LaBeouf – and a potentially great story of three brothers who were hooch-making outlaws in West Virginia. Based on a real story – the subject of Matt Bondurant’s novel “The Wettest County”, the siblings are up against Guy Pearce’s effete lawman and Oldman pops up – all too infrequently – as Chicago gangster Floyd Banner.

But it all amounts to nothing. Clarke’s part as the older brother is criminally underwritten, while Tom Hardy – the film’s strongest performer – is frequently sidelined in favour of LaBeouf’s far less interesting younger brother. Mia Wasikowska as the local preacher’s daughter and Chastain as Hardy’s love interest, a former stripper, get some decent moments but again, their characters feel underdeveloped.

I was bored halfway through the film, and I think the main issue I have is that you don’t care about the characters. I kept thinking of another Prohibition-era film, The Untouchables, and how it plays on your heartstrings, making you care even about a smaller character like Charles Martin Smith as the forensic accountant turned gunslinger. There’s no one to root for in Lawless, apart from maybe Hardy’s character Forrest, and even he seems like the best of a bad lot.

The other thing I’ll say about Lawless – and it’s worth a watch even to see a film that could have been great – is that it feels like a movie where the really exciting stuff is happening off-screen, in Chicago. But we don’t get to see it, only hear about it from Pearce and Oldman’s characters and to some extent, from Jessica Chastain, whose character has run away from the city. I kept longing to escape the West Virginia setting and see the real action.

I went back to Downtown this week to meet a talented writer-director (who will remain nameless as she’s blog-shy ;) for coffee. I took two buses and a cab to reach Handsome Coffee, but it was worth it because it’s the BEST COFFEE EVER. If not in the U.S., then in L.A. I can’t overestimate how good it was.

I walked back through Little Tokyo, passing a middle-aged man carrying a ghetto blaster. I don’t even think he was being ironic. Fittingly, it was blaring We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off by Jermaine Stewart – there’s a blast from the past!

I was looking for The Bradbury Building, a setting for Blade Runner, Chinatown and The Artist, and I kind of stumbled across it in the end. It’s a seriously cool building that could have been made to be a film location but is, in fact, an office premises. Weird fact – the architect George Wyman only agreed to take on the project by consulting an Ouija board…

I went to a mixer on Friday organised by The Scriptwriters Network, where I met a lot of other writers. It’s nice to meet people who are struggling with the same writing/representation/selling scripts issues as you! Afterwards, a friend introduced me to two L.A. institutions – Musso and Franks and In and Out Burger.

Musso and Franks is a complete legend – one of the oldest Hollywood restaurants, opened in 1919. They had the first payphone in Hollywood and many a deal was struck over it, just as many a contract was hammered out here over dinner. EVERYONE has eaten here – and the old-school waiters and bar staff have the pictures and stories to prove it. Stepping into this place is like stepping into a time warp – in the very best sense of the word. I had the strongest – and largest – martini I’ve ever drunk there and it’s on my weekly to-do list from now on.

In and Out Burger is cheap, efficient and serves up amazing burgers and fries. Fortunately, the nearest one is a taxi ride from my apartment, or I’d go home built like a tank. Gordon Ramsey famously ate there and then immediately drove back for another cheeseburger. They’re THAT good.

Last night I had more Hollywood culture (ahem) by embarking on a bar crawl with a friend, her sister and her mom, the coolest fifty-something lady in Orange County. We started at the Beverly Hilton (scene of Whitney Houston’s demise, John Edward’s extramarital affair and a disastrous press conference for Richard Nixon). We had Mai Tais in the bar by the pool, which is not a bad way to spend a few hours. While the drinks are good, the food is AWFUL – don’t go there to eat…

From there, we moved on to Bar Marmont, the bar part of the infamous Chateau. No sign of Lindsay Lohan or anyone else famous for that matter, but it’s a decent bar full of movers and shakers. Plus the bartender knows his stuff – their drinks are strong and taste great.

And then lastly, it was on to The Abbey. It’s a gay hot spot, which obviously meant it was full of very hot men, mostly watching other oiled-up hot men gyrate on a stage in tiny pants.  Good music, though! They also have the best idea ever, which is a coffee and cake stand in a bar! Seriously, who doesn’t want cake at midnight after drinking for six hours? Every bar should serve it.

It sounds like I’m doing nothing but touring L.A. but I am getting some writing done too. No TV in the apartment I’m staying in has really helped, but also, being here has a way of encouraging you to write. It’s like there’s something in the air – and it’s not just the smell of Mai Tais…

Dangerous beasts, lovely people – and screenings…

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I had an epiphany on Saturday night at dinner at a friend’s apartment. Everyone was talking about this mountain lion that’s just been captured in Griffith Park. Then my friend’s girlfriend mentioned that they can’t let their dog out at night – because of a coyote she’s spotted around their house. Oh, and there are rattlesnake warnings on forest trail signs.

So for the first time ever, I’m living somewhere with things that can actually kill you. This is kind of cool. In Ireland, we get wasps and vermin. That’s about it. No predators apart from your fellow humans.

I have to say, my fellow humans here are a polite and friendly bunch. For all the rumours of L.A. being full of snobs and airheads, everyone’s been lovely so far. I’ve met more assholes in Dublin, to be honest.

I’ve been to two Brits in L.A. brunches, which take place at Cecconi’s on Melrose Avenue on Saturday and Tuesday mornings. They’re a good idea – a chance for Brits, although this is a loose term – to meet up and have a chat about the crazy Americans. Things like, “why are decent spray deodorants impossible to find here?” and “What’s with calling the hash sign on a phone the ‘pound sign’?”

I went to a screening of an independent movie called Complicity on Sunday night. Directed by C.B. Harding and based on a dream he had (really – he dreamed the whole story), Complicity is a very effective thriller about a teenage house party that goes horribly, horribly wrong. Harding has made a very expensive-looking film on a very small budget, using a cast of young up-and-comers who are definitely going on to even bigger things. The script is tight and suspenseful, keeping you guessing right up to the end.

Many thanks to C.B.’s lovely wife Louise, who got me a seat at the very last minute!

Today I had tickets to a screening of comedian Mike Birbiglia’s semi-autobiographical film Sleepwalk With Me, shown at the Writers Guild Theater (yes, the guild here have their OWN, QUITE LARGE, CINEMA. Take note, ISPG!).

“I’m going to tell you a story”, Mike tells the camera at the start of the film, “And it’s true…. I always have to tell people that”. What follows is, according to the real Mike during the Q&A, about 70% true.

Based on his one-man show, Birbiglia co-wrote the film with This American Life producer Ira Glass. It covers his attempts to become a successful stand-up comedian and cure his dangerous sleep-walking, while trying to figure out his burned-out relationship with his girlfriend (played on screen by Lauren Ambrose). Birbiglia’s character is called Matt and his parents are played by the legendary James Rebhorn and Carol Kane.

But there is a highly-realistic streak running through this movie that had the entire audience laughing from start to finish. You recognise parts of yourself in the script, and can’t help finding them funny. Yet there is also a tragic undertone to the whole thing that only adds to the humour.

This is the 21st century Annie Hall, a finely-judged depiction of relationship issues, career disasters and trying not to kill your parents. It’s my favourite movie of the year so far and if it doesn’t rocket Birbiglia to stardom, there is no justice.

Cheeringly, the American public clearly agree. Sleepwalk with Me opened in 34 cinemas but decent word of mouth led to this being increased to 170 theatres.

After the screening, Joss Whedon moderated a Q&A with Mike Birbiglia and Ira Glass, the producer. They had a recent amusing spat with him on Youtube, where they went to war with The Avengers and vowed to beat it at the box office!

The three guys were on fine form tonight, trading zingers and taking questions from the audience. Birbiglia had a lot of questions about how his now wife had taken the film (well, apparently) and whether his sleepwalking had been cured (sort of).

It was really interesting to hear how they’d tweaked the film to create more laughs by editing bits and adding scenes in. They certainly had a brilliant editor involved – the cuts alone make it one of the decade’s best comedy films.

The Q&A was all in good humour, apart from one crazy guy in a green T-shirt, who tried to used the interview microphone to do an open-mike session and had to be frogmarched out by a massive security guard.

Then it was outside for wine, cheese and dessert – and a chance for a good gossip, for Danny De Vito and Tim Robbins were both present. We agreed that De Vito was even more mini than expected, while Robbins was much taller (seriously, the guy must be 6′ 4″).

My big thanks to the WGA Foundation, especially Kevin, for getting me in despite my Irish credit card not working on their site!

L.A. is an eccentric town, but I’m loving every minute of it. Now it’s down to the hard work of finding an agent and convincing them to represent me…

The good, the bad and the very, very weird…

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I’ve been here four days and already it feels like four months. In a good way.

I hiked up to Sunset Boulevard yesterday (literally, it’s a massive hill) to meet British actress, writer and director Sarah Dawson for lunch. She’s been in the States for years so had loads of useful info on living in L.A. and places to go. Thanks Sarah!

We met at Caffe Primo, where she’s seen E from Entourage before. But sadly, no sign of him yesterday! I did see a guy after who could have been Adrian Grenier. But then again, I did have Entourage stuck in my head.

I squeezed in some writing (has to be done) before going for a meal with Frank, an editor from New York who’s out here working on a movie, and his partner. We went to Roscoe’s, which is a bit of a Hollywood institution. On the way, we passed the 1950′s-era Formosa Cafe, where Guy Pearce confused Lana Turner with a hooker in L.A. Confidential. Someone’s built a strip mall right beside it, which as Frank correctly pointed out, makes it kind of difficult to shoot anything set in the Fifties now. Plus it’s really ugly (and who goes to a place called Crazy Rock’n’ Sushi??)

Roscoe’s is a bit of a throwback too, with a menu that I don’t imagine has changed much since it opened in 1975. They serve fried chicken and waffles. On the same plate, with butter and maple syrup for the waffles. It was surprisingly nice – the chicken was AMAZING. And even the Prez seems to agree – there’s a photo of Obama himself posing with the staff on the wall.

Today started out really dull, with the Hollywood Hills shrouded in mist. It was the June Gloom, but in August! Of course it burned off by 10am and the usual hot sunshine took up again. I have a pretty busy weekend planned so I decided to visit Graumann’s Chinese Theatre this afternoon. It’s obligatory – like a pilgrimage.

I’ve seen it and Hollywood Boulevard before, but going there is always an experience. You have the hand prints and the pictures of the elegant stars from yesteryear, and then the craziest people in the world everywhere you look. It’s like all the people who failed the extras audition for The Grove for being too weird got sent there instead. Or maybe like the Cantina in Star Wars sent along some tourists.

Today was no different. There was a man singing into a bin. Not singing while sifting through the bin, he was serenading it. Another man struggling with his Spandex Spiderman costume in a stairwell. Two men doing karaoke and rapping about sucking balls.

All this in front of the Chinese Theatre, with bemused tourist families walking around in a daze. And I can see why they’re bedazzled – after all, I’m a tourist myself. It’s all bright lights, hucksters and expensive junk food. Everyone’s selling something or trying to get noticed. Fittingly for a street famous for its hookers, it makes you feel cheap. And yet I have a soft spot for it.

I went to see the next movie showing, which was The Watch. A movie only watchable because of Billy Crudup’s brilliant cameo as a creepy neighbour and Richard Ayoade from the IT Crowd, who’s basically playing Moss in American suburbia. It felt good to see a film though – it reminded me of why I’m here. To write something that people want to watch.

Tomorrow, my first Brits in L.A. brunch (I can be an honorary Brit…)

If you can make it here, you can make it…. anywhere?

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Only three and a half weeks to go til I embark on a 17 hour journey in a tin can, watching straight to DVD movies and eating trays of plastic food! Sold the house last week and I’ve moved back into my folks’ place for the next month. I still can’t believe the house is finally gone, and with it a MASSIVE, building-shaped weight off my shoulders.

So there’s only the small matter of getting three scripts into shape and putting together a list of agents and managers to contact.

With the 3 scripts, I know what I have to do to fix them and make them gorgeous. But time to do the plastic surgery was low what with the house move and all. Now that that’s over, I need to get off my ass and do the work.

What I have noticed is that the more scripts I write, the more I seem to know a. when stuff needs fixing and b. in a general way, what needs to be changed. This is a shock – could it be that I’ve learned something, totally without realising it? Time was when I used to write something and then have literally no clue what to do to it unless I got feedback. Now, the feedback is often just confirming what I already know. I’m no screenwriting genius, but at least my writing Spidey senses seem to be kicking in.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about what I’m doing in moving to the States for a while and about the Irish film industry versus the U.S. one.

I’m going to confirm what I’ve already hinted at – I haven’t given the Irish industry a proper go. Apart from some half-hearted query letters, I haven’t knocked on producers’ doors. I haven’t applied to the Film Board for a First Draft Loan. I have networked a good bit and gotten stuff read that way, plus I’ve produced and/or written three Irish short films. But I haven’t had any kind of game plan for getting a feature film made here.

So what makes me think I can do it in the States? I’m going from a small industry where I have at least some useful contacts to a massive one where I know hardly anyone. Here’s what I’ve come up with when someone asked me that (very valid) question:

I haven’t got one decent Irish feature script. Not one. No script that I’d stand over and say “This is an ace idea and I’d be delighted to see it made”. Whereas I have 2 already decent American-based scripts that I’m about to make even better, as well as solid ideas for 2-3 more. My American scripts have won prizes, whereas my Irish scripts are furry with dust and lying in a drawer.

I don’t really know why this is, except to say that a lot of my ideas tend to be “big”. Bigger than could be made in Ireland, maybe. But also, I’m still waiting for that great idea for a film set in Ireland.

My gold standard for an excellent movie made outside Hollywood is currently District 9, in that it looks like 50 million dollars (but didn’t cost anything like that), is perfectly in keeping with its South African setting (in fact it’s impossible to imagine it being made anywhere else) and boasts a fantastic premise with a well-executed script. Basically, until I have an idea for a film as fab as that, I can’t really say that I have a script worth shouting about.

So my main goal for the rest of 2012 is this: to come up with an idea – not even write a script, just get a concept going – for a great Irish-based script that won’t cost the earth to produce.

Apart from that, my other answer to the valid question is that I don’t know whether it’s going to work out in the States. I may arrive in L.A. and think “Nope, I can’t stand to live here”. I may realise after three months that I hate the Hollywood film industry and am longing to come home. But the only way to guarantee that I won’t make it is if I don’t give it a chance.

I’d like to hear what anyone else thinks about the Irish versus the U.S. industries. If you walk into the Irish Film Institute bar and throw a rock, you’ll hit a writer who’s talking about going to Hollywood “one day”. But is that the be all and end all of being a writer – to end up emigrating and live dolefully abroad like Joyce, thinking longingly of home (yet knowing that you’ll never write anything as amazing as Dubliners)?

And what is it that’s holding them back from going? Is it family responsibilities? The visa issues (which are admittedly a pain)? Lack of information about the U.S. industry? Or a hope that if you wait long enough, the Irish film industry will suddenly be awash with cash for making movies?

Answers on a postcard…..